When People Underestimate Negative feelings.

I am a scared young women. And that is a universal truth for anyone in their late twenties. Today I faced two very important things, one you can’t base what you want on someone else’s life’s time. That is not yours to work with. And secondly, words that are given out as promises or assurances are scary burden to load on your shoulders.
I didn’t give any life saving promises, just that I would wait for 5 minutes. A customer needed a last minute exchange of materials, so that they could complete their said renovation in given time. Both the painters and customers had things that they wanted to move on too. Something a personal experience of mine, makes me empathise with. I am not a very interesting person, but I do make things around me interesting. Choosing to go on a path with very little knowledge usually means, mistakes and lots of them. Think about planning a trip to a beach with making U-trip every given turn. Exhausting isn’t it.  It is! And right now I am exhausted. Why? I have a thousand things without knowing how to do either one of them. Its the worst choice one can make for one’s self. I did, its called over compensating for survivor’s guilt. You need to do more than everyone else. You need to know more, achieve more and live more. How do you do that?

 

I have back-story, who doesn’t. After living on this earth for around 26 years and then some months. I would believe you have less life in you, if you don’t have a back-story. Was that judgemental? Who knows, I am not questioning all my words anymore. But the point is, I love to roam, wander around and return back home. A streak of qualities not appreciated, never valued and often berated in females. Who will take care of the house? Who will cook? Who will complete those little menial tasks that take forever of your life to end. And then they don’t, fix one and ten breaks. I am used to silence, its a quality I have come to be grateful for. Another is faith, and interesting entity it is. Its neither religion nor emotion.

 

Mess

IMG_0952

Clean wall and cluttered floor. So many things I want to do here. Tonight I will do the most important one. Let go!!! Two powerful words, and yet their effect on overall life is devastating. May the picture of it tomorrow morning bring some peace of mind.

Advertisements

#DepressionLetsTalk

Don’t just try and figure out if you are depressed or not, with symptoms listed abound.

Fight to live for another moments, like morning’s bird’s sound.

They talk and sing, whole day around.

But its the silence of dawn, when their sweetness is found.

Wait for it, work hard for it and stay alert for your own happiness.

Its okay to be selfish, if you live another day on your own.

Its okay not to be perfect, if your best if good enough for now.

Its okay to sing a crass song in the shower, if silences the cries of demons inside.

The demons only win, if you live to die.

Death will  come, don’t worry about it, worry won’t change a single fact.

Think about you, this moment and what difference both of those can make.

And do those, even if the worlds trolls and calls you names.

You might not, but they will forget, only remembering when you have made it intact.

Thats when you realise, the scars are beautiful,

Your tears are cleaning your soul, and for whats it worth.

The pain today might or might not make you stronger.

But what you will realise, is that you thought you were surviving the hell on this Earth.

If you loved from heart and gave your-living all, You Lived!

And what matters most, in human life, THAT IS ALL.

 

 

LOVE AND PEACE.

To let live, you need to live yourself first.